What’s next?

That’s a good question: What’s next?

To be honest, I have no clue.

I’ve spent the majority of my summer pouring my time into my family, my garden, and my peace. And you know what? It’s been amazing. I think I’m going to keep my focus there for a while.

My daughter is entering first grade and we’re homeschooling, and with it being new territory, I want it to have my full attention. I want us to enter this new chapter without distractions, without the pressure of a word count or content because at the end of the day, my family will always come first.

It’s been challenging for me to step away from writing, even though the break has been much needed. But it doesn’t mean my creative brain has shut off. Enter the challenge. I want to write. I want to write a new book so badly. I have multiple plotted out, snippets of scenes written here and there, playlists curated, Pinterest vision boards made; yet when the rare occasion comes that I have time to write, I simply can’t do it. It all goes blank. I’m too tired.

So, I curl up with a good book, I watch a comfort show and I tell myself that maybe this just isn’t the season for going hard with writing and trying to publish—and that’s okay! It doesn’t mean it’s forever or that I’ll never write another book, it simply means God is leading me elsewhere for the moment and I’m doing my best to listen.

And in that listening, despite my inner protest, I’m coming to think that stepping away from social media for a bit is also needed. Even with a time limit on my apps, I’m still getting sucked into distractions that I don’t need nor want in my life. Plus, when I’m on them the guilt hits me, ‘you should be posting more,’ or ‘why did you even write a book if you’re not going to promote it?’ But you know what? I don’t need to. My books are out there, I did it, I wrote and published them and I truly believe the right people will find them without me having to do anything.

Then, when I’m ready and have more brain power, I can write steadily again, I can post again and it will flow effortlessly. And when that time comes, I’ll be ready.

But for now, in this season, writing poetry about the wind and the passing of time, planning endless stories and series, making my home and peace a priority is where I will find my happiness. And I’m all for creating our own happiness—whatever it may look like.

Writing this feels like I’m closing a chapter, yet I know I’m not. I’m simply redirecting my focus, I’m putting my eyes back where they belong, letting my creative heart steal moments to dabble here and there. And over time, a book will be born again, a new painting, a crocheted blanket, a garden, a whole new me. Over and over again.

I have so many deep feelings about this, negative intrusive thoughts telling me that I’m giving up on myself, though I know I’m not. In fact, I’m doing the most I’ve ever done for myself by coming inward and away from the noise of the world. I can breathe again. And that’s how I know I’m where I’m supposed to be.

And so, if you have made it this far, how bored are you? Just kidding. Thank you. For being a part of this journey, for taking the time to read my words and allow my ramblings to take space in your world, if even for a moment. Your time is valuable and I don’t take a second of it for granted.

I’ll be around, but until then, I wish you all well. And remember, create your happiness!